DeYoung defines vainglory as the "excessive and disordered desire for recognition and approval from others." When Augustine reflects on his theft of the pears as a teenager, he identifies the reason he stole was to impress or fit in with his friends. How often is this the case? DeYoung called it his "fear of shame." So how does vainglory fit into our daily lives as we interact with other people?
Our assignment for the vice of vainglory was to go a whole day without talking about ourselves.
I failed.
Miserably.
I found that I am in such a habit of putting everything into my own words - my own context. I am deeply entrenched in the habit of telling people what I think, or relating something about myself or my past to the current conversation.
I focused on asking about other people are - I saw one of my friends who I have not seen in a while at school, and I found it very difficult to not talk about myself. However, I did find that I could be genuine and as about his life and his family. That is one thing that I am - empathetic.
This exercise was excellent for me in identifying one of my major characteristics - talking about myself. I have even interrupted people to talk about myself - not in a rude way, but it made me think about my intentions. I realized that even in every day conversation, I have a desire for recognition and approval from others. I do not know if it is disordered, but it may be excessive. I definitely have a "fear of shame" - a fear of not being respected in everyday conversation.
Very good, John, this is exactly the kind of thing I am looking for.
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